Pretty Pretty Kitty
by ShinkonoKokoro
Summary: Loki was probably bored of turning Thor into barn animals, so he turns to a different grouping of animals. And a different target: Steve.


_A/N: Shmoopy fic ahead because I write too much Avengers drama. :) Request filled. Happy Tony ahoy! _

_Also proud of myself for including puns, blabbering, and ridiculousness._

* * *

><p>Loki was probably bored of turning Thor into barn animals, so he turns to a different grouping of animals. And a different target: Steve.<p>

Tony's still shouting when the smoke clears, and promptly halts his progress because _holy __shit __that's __a __big __cat_. The cat circles and then lets out a yowl like the cry of that tiger from _The __Jungle __Book__—_Bhagera? And God, there's a reference he never expected to use. Somewhere between _tigris __tigris _and his mouth there's a disconnect because all that comes out was "Big cat. Big big cat. Shit." Step forward. "Steve?"

"Iron Man, stay back!" Natasha's voice says.

"I'm in a fucking metal suit. How much can that thing hurt me? Shit. That's Steve? Right? That's got to be Steve. Shit, we gotta get him outta here! I need to—"

"Tony! My friend. Calm down," Thor interrupts. "We will deal with this problem—my brother has merely made a mistake—"

"_Mistake_?" Tony shrieks—it's really not a shriek, it's a...it's a shout of indignation and disbelief. "Okay. You guys got this. I'm gonna... Shit. That's a 300 pound tiger. How'm I going to get that home?"

"Home? Tony, are you out of your mind?" Natasha shouts. "You can't bring a _tiger_ back to the mansion."

Tony steps towards it again, ignoring Clint's, "Fuck no!" and tries calling Steve's name again. He even opens his face plate so he can recognise his face.

"You're talking to a fucking cat," Clint says.

"Shut up." Tony takes another step towards the cat, hands facing down. The cat stares at him with blue eyes—do cats _have_ blue eyes? Stupid question. That stray he found when he was seven had blue eyes. "Hey, Steve. We're gonna go home. I can probably carry you. You're okay with that, yeah?" He reaches out a hand. The cat lowers its head and its tail swishes, but it doesn't make any more to snap. Taking a deep breath, Tony finally guns the jet boots and snags the cat underneath its front legs and manages to get the thing home.

* * *

><p>The cat is obviously Steve. Tony sees it in the way it skulks around, trying to be smaller. Once he's gotten himself clean, the suit away, and the cat whatever raw meat he can find in the fridge (which Steve—the cat is Steve. Steve. <em>Steve<em> eats like he's ashamed), he stumbles towards his room and collapses into the bed. And then yowls when the cat jumps up and curls next to him. It—he—looks almost apologetic. "Really? On my bed?"

The cat—Steve—makes to slink off the bed.

"Fine, _fine_. Just so you know, if you cough hairballs, then _you're_ going to clean them up, and...yeah." He groans and slaps a hand over his face. "Hopefully Thor will find Loki; the rest of them are back. As...can you smell them? Did you know they're back?"

The—Steve tilts his head and licks his whiskers.

"You're not...still...hungry? Are you?" Tony sits and scoots slowly backwards, watching the cat's eyes.

Steve's tail twitches and curves back and forth slowly.

"Right? You're no-oo-oo _shit_!" And finds himself with 300 pounds of cat pinning him to the bed. "You know..." he gasps, "when I thought we could possibly be in bed with one another, this wasn't quite what I had in mind..."

The cat—_Steve_, yawns, mouth full of sharp teeth.

Tony swallows.

Steve licks his chops again and then steps off Tony, circling before finally lying down half on top of Tony.

"Oh. Okay. Right. That's fine. Sleeping without blankets tonight. I can do that. That's fine. We'll be fine. Just. Yup. Okay." He breathes, watching Steve's tail twitch a few more times before it curled over Tony's waist. "We'll just blame it on giant cat stuff... And when you're back to normal, we just won't talk about it..." He mutters before finally falling asleep.

* * *

><p>But Thor doesn't return with Loki in the morning. And Tony has to deal with giant cat Steve for another whole week and a half—finding hairballs in his toilet and fur in places he'd rather not think about—before they even see Loki again. Tony's about to take off from his balcony when he hears screeching on metal and can't get off the ground. "Shit! Steve! What are you doing?"<p>

Steve's paws are hooked over his shoulders, rear paws scraping against his calves.

"Stop it! You're going to wreck the paint!"

Steve thumps back down to the ground, circling around in front and lifting front paws to the balcony before looking straight at him.

"You... _oh __no_. There's no way you're going! Steve! You're a cat! You're not going to be useful! Sorry, but it's true! This is Loki. Being a pain in our asses again! You're no—oh hell. _Fine_. Stop looking at me like that! Ugh. I'm carrying you like last time."

"Oh Tony... What were you thinking?" Bruce groans when Tony finally arrives to the fight.

"Why aren't you hulked? Do you need help with that?" he snaps back. "Look Steve! A tasty treat! Go get him!" He drops Steve on the ground gently and then zooms towards Loki, Steve not far behind.

"Tony! Why the hell did you bring Steve?" Natasha shouts at him.

Tony growls inside his helmet and blasts at Loki. Steve slinks off into the wreckage and Tony loses sight of him for a while while he's battling Loki. And shouting at him. Mostly shouting at him and trying to avoid Loki's magic. Loki's stupid magic. Then he sees Steve again. He grins. Steve jumps, and Loki's pinned. "Ha!" Landing next to the trickster god, Tony almost laughs as Steve's got his teeth against his throat, looking up at Tony.

Thor drops into sight, looking distressed. "I am sorry, my friend. I had not found my brother. Though it seems you have done the job. I ask you, please do be careful."

"Oh Steve's always careful," Tony replies glibly. "Right Steve?"

The cat makes a growling noise.

"I, however," Tony says casually, stepping closer to Steve's haunch. "I am not so careful." And grins down at Loki.

"You are most like me, Midgard's favourite son," Loki sneers.

Tony snorts. "Yeah okay. Whatever. You gonna turn Steve back?"

"Will I live afterwards?"

"Depends."

"Tony," Thor says in a slightly pained voice.

"Depends on how fast of a coward you are. With your magic."

"You do not wish to see. You golden children, forever in the light." He lies limp on the ground, apparently at ease with a giant Bengal's teeth against his throat and Tony's repulsors primed. "But you, Tony Stark, you know the shadow, and know what it's like there. How easy—"

"Shut up. Turn Steve back," he says. "This game's no longer fun."

"For you, perhaps."

"Loki," Thor warns.

His proximity alerts tell him that Natasha and Clint are now close. Bruce out there somewhere beyond them. "You gonna do what we want?" Lets his repulsors whine.

Loki rolls his eyes again and with a bright flash of light he is gone and Steve is crouched naked over nothing.

"Oh for pity's—Thor. We need your cape." Tony doesn't smack a hand over his face, but it's a close thing. He doesn't, after all, want to scrape his paint job more than necessary.

"Thanks, Thor," Steve says, wrapping the fabric around himself for some modicum of modesty.

"Let's get you back, soldier. Wanna ride?" Tony asks.

"Thanks. Natasha, you get Fury to bring clean up down." Steve sighs and then gives up. "Whatever. I need to... Food. Food, a shower, _clothes_."

"I can work with that order," Tony says with a grin, holding out a hand.

Steve rolls his eyes and steps next to him, one foot on his boot and then clings when Tony lifts up and brings them home.

* * *

><p>He comes up from his shop late, finished with surface repair to the suit and then pads into his room, freezing in the doorway. Someone's in his bed. And it's a little bit of an inappropriate time to be thinking of the three little bears, but he steps forward anyway. And his mind has shifted to think of what in his room can be used as a weapon. But then he recognises Steve's form, and he blinks. "Steve?" Because really, it was cool as a cat and all, but now Steve's a person again, and he's got his own bed. So really...? Tony can't think of any reason why he would be here. He tries again. "Steve?"<p>

He shifts and is immediately awake. "Oh, hey, Tony."

"Oh hey Tony. Steve. What are you doing in my bed? Did you get lost? Are you okay? Do we need to check you out? I—"

"_Tony_. I'm fine. Geeze. Sorry. I guess... I didn't think. I...wasn't thinking. Sorry. I'll get back to my room." And there's that kicked puppy look. Wet kitten?

Tony shakes his head. "I just... Right. Okay. No, it's _fine_, I just didn't know _why_ you were here?"

"I..." Now Steve looks embarrassed. "My room... Uh. I didn't sleep so well in my bed."

"Mine is more comfortable," Tony says carefully, slipping his thumbs into his waistband.

"Yeah. And I, uh, liked sleeping with you."

"Yeah?" Tony says, not quite letting himself hope. But then again, he'd take what he can get. "You can stay. If you want. I've shared enough beds to be a good bed-sharer." God, that couldn't have come out more wrong.

But Steve looks a little happier.

"This a...um. Recent change of mind?"

Steve rocks a little, looking up at the ceiling. "Maybe a little."

"Hm."

"You're really nice to giant cat me."

Tony grins. "I like regular you just fine, you know."

"Do you?"

"Oh yeah. You mean you've missed all my comments during the time we've known one another?"

Steve frowned. "Sorry, this is getting a little confusing. I... I'd like to spend the night here. And if there are...well, we don't have to start anything right away. But if you'd like..."

"I'd like," Tony says quickly, stripping his shirt off and padding to his side of the bed. "I'd like a lot, I think. But with...well. Your recent _cat_astrophe—"

Steve groans. "That was terrible."

"—I think we'd better sleep. And maybe save it for the morning?"

"Um. Yeah." Falling back into the bedding, Steve shifts until he's comfortable, curled up like a cat, and looks at Tony.

Tony smiles, knowing the expression is soft. "Yeah. Yeah. Good night, Steve. Glad you're back." And then slides between the sheets. "JARVIS, lights off."

"Good night, Sir."

He waits a few minutes and then Steve's shifting so his back is curled against Tony's side, pulling Tony's arm around his shoulder so he can cradle it. Tony spreads his hand against Steve's chest and thinks the cat-like tendencies will probably go away, but for now? For now they're alright. They're pretty nice, in fact. Maybe he'll only publicly embarrass Loki next time they fight. Not take him out. Tony turns his head and rests his jaw against Steve's head, breathing him in and drifting off to sleep.


End file.
